Books for or about Grieving Children
Aarvy Aardvark Finds Hope (O’Toole): A story for people of all ages about loving and losing, friendship and hope
The Angel with the Golden Glow (Al-Chokhachy): A resource of comfort with its underlying principle that our spirits live forever
Dancing on the Moon (Roper): About a little girl whose baby brother dies of SIDS
Explaining Death to Children (Grollman) Helps adults with explaining death to children and also helpful for adults who are exploring their own views and thoughts about death
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf (Buscaglia) As Freddie experiences the changing seasons along with his companion leaves, he learns that death is part of life
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Fingernail Mood, Mama’s Journal (Lager) This book is out-of-print, but we have one copy in our library.
I Know I Made it Happen (Centering Corp) We look at feelings when there’s a family fight, a divorce, illness, injury and death. Gives kids support and understanding during crises. It’s nice to know, though, that my wishes, and my thoughts, and my words, don’t make bad things happen.
Life & Loss: A Guide to Help Grieving Children (Goldman) Stories, crafts, and feelings guide children and parents
Morgan’s Baby Sister (Johnson & Williams) A read-aloud story of a little girl, Morgan, and her parents, who try to sort out their feelings of confusion and grief after the death of their premature baby.
No New Baby (Centering Corp) This storybook talks about the different feelings children have and answers some of the most asked questions.
Remembering Our Baby (Keough) A workbook for children (ages 4-9) whose brother or sister dies before birth
Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss (Mundy) This guide tells children what they need to know after a loss--that the world is still safe; life is good; and hurting hearts do mend. Written by a school counselor, this book helps comfort children facing of the worst and hardest kind of reality.
Sibling Grief (Martinez, Burns, Ilse) Valuable coping tips for both parents and children
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Someone Came Before You (Schwiebert) For children when the baby they are waiting for dies AND for the child who comes after the one who died
Something Happened (Blanford) This book is designed especially for children between the ages of two and six whose families have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death.
Talking About Death - A Dialogue Between Parent and Child (Grollman) A guide for adults and children to read together, featuring a readalong story, answers to questions children ask about death, and a comprehensive list of resources and organizations that can help
Tear Soup (Schwiebert & DeKlyen) Recognizes and reinforces the fact that every member of the family from the youngest to the oldest will grieve in their own way (also available on DVD) - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS
Thumpy’s Story (Dodge) This story provides an opportunity for children and adults to express their emotions and learn about life, death, grief and love. (also available in Spanish)
We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead (Schweibert) Told from a young child’s perspective about the excitement and plans for the coming baby, and the disappointment and sadness following the death of the baby
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death (Brown) Addresses children's fears and curiosity head-on, and in a largely secular fashion, by answering some very basic questions: "Why does someone die?" "What does dead mean?" "What comes after death?"
Where’s Jess? (Johnson) To help very young children cope with infant sibling loss
Men and Grief
Couple Communication after a Baby Dies (Ilse & Nelson) The Ilse's and the Nelson's have endured over 20+ years each of the ups, downs, and togetherness since their babies died.They share their intimate journeys and offer support. Thoughts from other couples are included and a section of thought-provoking questions and conversation starters. This book deals with these questions and more: What becomes the biggest challenge for bereaved parents after their baby dies? Do men feel overwhelmed, out of control, and ignored soon after their baby dies? What can they doabout it, and how do they work to keep their relationship with their wives strong? After some time has passed, how does couple communication change and grow if they don’t find outside help? Do old habits continue, and are seeds planted for more problems later on?
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers (Lafser) (Religion-based) This collection of more than a hundred short meditations beautifully interweaves the very real feelings of bereaved parents with Scripture passages that provide comfort, direction, and a sense of hope.
For Better or Worse: For Couples Whose Child Has Died (Doerr) Written to help strengthen marriages after a child dies. Explores the differences in gender grief, building your relationship after your child dies, how to help each other heal
Healing Together: For Couples Whose Baby Died (Lister & Lovell) Covers ideas from the memorial service to talking together, information on how men and women grieve differently, and how to strengthen your relationship after the loss of your baby
A Man’s Grief (Golden) A handy, concise, and practical book for both men and women
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing (Golden) A lot of men don't buy "self-help books" and are skeptical about "psychobabble." This short, simple, and straightforward book is something that men can relate to. It also gives a lot of insights to women, why may not understand that men grieve differently from women.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
A Man You Know is Grieving: 12 Ideas for Helping Him Heal From Loss (Golden) Practical book for both men and women
A Guide for Father's: When a Baby Dies (Nelson) This pocket sized book is for men who experience the death of their infant child -- whether it be miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. Meant to be a guide during the early hours and days after finding out the news of their baby's death, the book offers suggestions for communicating with medical caregivers, offering support to their partner, telling the news to other children, making funeral arrangements, and taking care of themselves in a time of crisis. It goes on to talk about effective communications during the weeks and months following the loss, going to a support group, returning to the workplace, and the issues surrounding a subsequent pregnancy.
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Healing a Father's Grief (Schatz) A father whose son died at age 9 gives information and kindly advice to help grieving fathers. Wives and others who care about grieving fathers will also benefit from this easy to read booklet that offers comfort and understanding to ease the pain of loss.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People (Kushner) (not specific to perinatal loss) Written by a Rabbi facing his own child's fatal illness. Guides us through the inadequacies of the traditional answers to the problem of evil and then provides a uniquely practical and compassionate answer that has appealed to millions of readers across all religious creeds.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Parenthood Lost: Healing the Pain After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death (Berman) Guides the reader through the wrenching anguish of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death
When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently & How You Can Help (Levang) Straightforward portrayal of men and grief
Miscarriage: A Man's Book (Wheat) The author talks to men about their wives' sorrow, their own struggles, and how to support each other
Heartworks: A Father's Grief (Petersen) Explores the paralyzing depths of grief, the awesome power of love, and the incredible light of hope
Strong and Tender - A Guide for the Father Whose Baby Has Died (Schwiebert) Gives dads permission to feel their pain and help them understand some of the responses they’re having to the death of their child
Miscarriages Hurt Men, Too (Burdon) Men from around the world tell their stories. They share their mistakes and offer a word of advice.
Stillborn: The Invisible Death (Defrain and Martens) Drawing on the moving and eloquent testimony of 350 parents of stillborn babies, it explores such topics as blame, shock, and guilt; seeing, holding, and remembering the baby; the autopsy and funeral; effects on family relationships, including moving and divorce; thoughts of suicide; increased substance abuse; surviving children and subsequent pregnancies; returning to normal; and reaching out to others.
Grandparents
For Bereaved Grandparents (Gerner) Addresses the grief that grandparents feel when their children have a child die
Forgotten Tears: A Grandmother's Journey Through Grief (Bennett) Personal accounts from bereaved grandparents on some aspects of their grief journey.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR ANY ADULT EXPERIENCING A LOSS OR ANY ADULT WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WHO IS
Grandma's Tears (Kolf) Offers support and hope to grandparents who are often overlooked when a grandchild dies and who carry a double burden--the loss of their grandchild and the sorrow of their own grieving children
A Grandparent's Sorrow (Schweibert) Includes ideas on how grandparents can help themselves as they grieve, how to better understand their child during this difficult time, and how to keep the memory of their grandchild
Relative Grief (edited by Jenkins & Merry) Parents, grandparents, children, siblings and partners share their experiences of losing close relatives and friends (not specific to perinatal loss)
Grandparents Cry Twice (Reed) About grandparents' dual sorrow when a grandchild dies
Grieving Grandparents (Ilse & Leininger) For grandparents as they attempt to comfort and support their children who suffer, while they also learn to cope with their own grief
When a Grandchld Dies (Galinsky) Honors the unique grief of grandparents and includes stories and quotes from those who have experienced such a loss
When Joy Withers Away (Meyden) Rev. Calvin D. Vander Meyden is a pastor in Michigan. When Joy Withers Away is his poignant story of the death from SIDS of his three month old grandson, Travis Genzink. Told from a unique point of view, not only as a grandfather, but also as a minister, it is a story over which we can not only shed tears, but also garner hope. When Joy Withers Away gives grieving grandparents suggestions on how they can survive such tragedy, but its real strength is how it gives all of us the freedom to ask, "Why, God? Why?"
Difficult Decisions in Pregnancy
:
Termination of Pregnancy due to Poor Prenatal Diagnosis (Fetal Abnormalities or Life-Limiting Diagnoses)
Some of these books may be helpful during the decision-making process.
Beyond Prenatal Choice (MacMillin) Written for individuals who find out, through prenatal diagnosis, that their baby has an abnormality, and who have made the difficult and self-less decision to terminate the pregnancy
Difficult Decisions (Centering Corp) Offers gentle support, practical suggestions, and very helpful information as parents struggle with what their next step will be
Embracing Laura (Wegner-Hay) Complimentary copy available from the Perinatal Loss Office Parents face the difficult decision of selective reduction when one of their twins had almost no chance of survival and that the sick baby could affect the chance of survival of the healthy twin
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Ended Beginnings (Panuthos & Romeo) Infertility, miscarriage, sudden infant death, abortion, adoption, premature or traumatic birth, and help for grieving children
Honored Babies (Long) Collection of women’s stories of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy termination, stillbirth, and neonatal death
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
A Mother's Dilemma: A Spiritual Search for Meaning Following Pregnancy Interruption After Prenatal Diagnosis (Lyon and Minnick) This book is about forgiveness—of self, of each other, of God and of due process after ending a wanted pregnancy
Our Heartbreaking Choices (edited by Brooks) 46 women share their stories of "interrupting" a much-wanted pregnancy
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Precious Lives, Painful Choices (Ilse) A prenatal decision-making guide that offers a comprehensive discussion of the choices prospective parents will be presented with after hearing unexpected results from prenatal testing
Precious Pregnancies, Heavy Hearts (Smarr) Comprehensive guide for families faced with complex pregnancy-management issues
A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal (Minnick) For parents making difficult decisions about babies they love. Written by mothers and fathers who have faced the news of fetal anomaly with grief and courage. Looks at the steps involved in the decision to continue or to end the pregnancy, with the book's real strength (and largest portion) being in the comprehensive approach it takes to healing grief after a decision to terminate is made.
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Unspeakable Losses (Kluger-Bell) Includes in-depth stories from parents (including Kluger-Bell herself) that discuss such diverse issues as multifetal reductions, the male experience of pregnancy loss, and how a woman can be pro-choice yet still suffer grief over choosing abortion. She includes tools for moving through the grieving process, discussing losses, and helping loved ones who have experienced pregnancy loss.
Español
Aborto Espontáneo: Un libro para los padres (Centering Corp) For parents experiencing a miscarriage
Aflicción (Johnson) Covers feelings, issues, other people, rituals and caring for yourself
Ante la Perdida de un Ser Querido (Westburg) Spanish version of Good Grief
Brazos Vacios (Ilse) Spanish version of Empty Arms
Como Aceptar la Muerte subita e inesperada de un Nino (Horchler & Rice) Spanish version of SIDS & Infant Death Survival Guide
Cuando el embarazo termina en pérdida: Nuestras historias (edited by Faldet & Fitton) 50 contributors, including four men, share their real-life accounts of how miscarriage has affected their lives
Cuando Hola Significa Adios (Schweibert & Kirk) Spanish version of When Hello Means Goodbye
El Cuento de Thumpy (Dodge) Spanish version of Thumpy's Story
Curarse y Crecer a Través de la Pérdida (O’Toole) Las personas sufriendo pérdidas de todo tipo usan mucho este librito de gran éxito de ventas. Nos ayuda entender el dolor como un proceso natural de curarse y como encontrar ayuda y apoyo. Descuentos disponibles al por mayor.
Una Memoria Demasiado Temprana (Schweibert) Covers grieving a miscarriage, causes, helpful things to do or remember while grieving, how fathers react, friends and families, when to try again, and the next pregnancy
Ese Momentitio: Para los padres que sulfren la experienca de perder un hijo o de que su bebe nazca muerto (Johnson) Spanish version of This Little While
Los Ninos Tambien Mueren (Johnson) Talks about feelings, dealing with guilt, facing sadness, and moving on
No Tendremos un Nuevo Bebe (Gryte) Spanish version of No New Baby
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Un Tiempo Para Decidir, Un Tiempo Para Sanar (Minnick) Spanish version of A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal.
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Newborn Death
After the Loss of Your Baby - For Teen Mothers (Nykiel) Information about grief and the grief process, medical definitions, the baby's father, friends and family, grandparents, knowing when you're ready to have another baby, taking care of yourself, answers to frequently asked questions
After Miscarriage: Medical Facts & Emotional Support (Danielsson) Medical and emotional issues that may accompany miscarriage, including when to seek testing, how to choose the right doctor, when to try for another pregnancy, and how to deal with anxiety
Anna, a Daughter’s Life (Loizeaux) Anna was born with VATER Syndrome. This book, written by her father, chronicles a father's and mother's time with their daughter as well as the year after her death (at five months of age).
Angelic Presence: Short Stories of Solace and Hope After the Loss of a Baby (Lammert & Friedreck) A collection of stories from mothers, fathers and grandparents of children who have died
Baby Nathan (Davis) A mother's story about one of her twins, Nathan, who was stillborn
A Broken Heart Still Beats: After Your Child Dies (Hurcombe) Complilations of poetry, fiction, and essays eloquently expresses a parent's pain, stages of grief, and the coping and healing that follow (not specific to perinatal loss)
Couple Communication after a Baby Dies (Ilse & Nelson) The Ilse's and the Nelson's have endured over 20+ years each of the ups, downs, and togetherness since their babies died.They share their intimate journeys and offer support. Thoughts from other couples are included and a section of thought-provoking questions and conversation starters. This book deals with these questions and more: What becomes the biggest challenge for bereaved parents after their baby dies? Do men feel overwhelmed, out of control, and ignored soon after their baby dies? What can they doabout it, and how do they work to keep their relationship with their wives strong? After some time has passed, how does couple communication change and grow if they don’t find outside help? Do old habits continue, and are seeds planted for more problems later on?
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Embracing a Loss from Sorrow to Acceptance (Baldry) Introduces the authors poems and personal essays that are exploring the avenues of grief, followed by journal prompts to accommodate reader participation
Empty Arms (Ilse & Burns) Practical suggestions and support for the decision-making at the time of the loss and in the days and months that follow (also available in Spanish)
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart (Davis) The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death affects thousands of U.S. families every year. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. The book includes information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and other support persons can gain special insight. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide. If reading this book moves you to cry, try to accept this reaction. Your tears merge with those of other grieving parents. You are not alone!
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Ended Beginnings (Panuthos & Romeo) Infertility, miscarriage, sudden infant death, abortion, adoption, premature or traumatic birth, and help for grieving children
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination (McCracken) Touching and often unexpectedly funny memoir about the author's life before and after losing her first child in the ninth month of pregnancy. “I’m not ready for my first child to fade into history,” explains McCracken as she talks about her next pregnancy.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Forever Silent, Forever Changed (Davis) A mother writes about her son that was stillborn
Good Grief (Westburg) Handbook to help understand the stages of all types of grief and losses
The Good Grief Club (Novak) The Good Grief Club is the true story of seven women who discover that their new friendships have the power to heal the pain of losing their babies in miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death. One by one, fate weaves their lives together in the wake of tragedy misunderstood by those around them. Set around support group meetings and restaurant rendezvous, these seven soul sisters find a new normal. Through tears and anger, compassion and laughter, late nights and French toast, the sun slowly emerges from the darkness bringing with it love, hope, and healing as, together, they rebuild their lives.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Help, Comfort, and Hope after Losing Your Baby in Pregnancy or the First Year (Lothrop) Miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, sudden infant death, and termination of pregnancy
Hidden Loss : Miscarriage and Ectopic Pregnancy (Edited by Hay) Personal accounts of a number of women, offering insight into the emotional and medical effects, and studying the processes of grieving and recovery
Hope is Like the Sun (Church) Follow the author and four of her friends as they navigate the difficult journey through pregnancy loss
I Never Held You (DuBois) The author tells of her own miscarriage, outlines steps toward recovery, and provides online support resources.
Life Touches Life: A Mother's Story of Stillbirth and Healing (Northrup) A mother's account of the birth of her full-term baby who was stillborn due to a Group-B Strep infection
Losing Malcolm (Henderson) The author's account of the birth of her "perfect" baby who is diagnosed with a heart problem when he was three days old. He dies after his second surgery to repair the problem.
Love, Mom (Baseman) Baseman gives a first hand account of her experiences in order to help others find the tools to find happiness after losing a baby
Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know (Regan) Professor Lesley Regan is the first woman to hold a chair on obstetrics and gynaecology in the country and for the past decade she has worked to establish the biggest miscarriage clinic in the world. This book gives up-to-date information on the many causes of miscarriage and the latest treatments available.
Miscarriage - Women Sharing from the Heart (Allen & Marks) The personal stories of 100 women talking about their miscarriage experiences, interviews with fathers on how they have been affected, and advice for partners, family members, and health care professionals
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Mourning Sickness (edited by Martin & Loren) 49 contributors (many of them award-winning writers) share their personal journeys through miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Our Stories of Miscarriage (edited by Faldet & Fitton) Fifty contributors, including four men, share vivid accounts of how miscarriage has affected their lives
Loss of One or More Babies in a Set of Multiples
Rituals
Bittersweet...hello goodbye. A Resource in Planning Farewell Rituals when a Baby Dies (edited by Lamb) Guidance and specific suggestions for creating a meaningful memorial service
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies: A Guide for Families (Wolfelt) Practical ideas for creating authentic, personalized, and meaningful funeral ceremonies
Goodbye My Child (Wheeler & Pike) Guide for newly bereaved parents. Talks about funeral planning, differences in losses, the five phases of mourning, men and women grief, grandparents, your other children, family and friends and picking up the pieces.
Making Loving Memories (Eddy & Raydo) For first things to do and simple funeral planning. A small book packed with realistic ideas.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Planning a Precious Goodbye (Ilse & Martinez) Specific suggestions for creating a meaningful memorial service for their baby who has died
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Infertility and Loss
The Ache for a Child (Bridwell) Bridwell writes candidly (and with a Christian/Biblical perspective) of her struggle to have children, the cycle of hope and grief, and the sorrow of pregnancy loss.
Empty Womb, Aching Heart (Schalesky) Infertility strikes at the core of what it means to be a woman or man, tests marriages, and shakes faith. The honest, open, and emotionally resonant first-person stories in Empty Womb, Aching Heart share the real struggles couples face, including "crying in the diaper aisle", wondering if you are "less of a woman", asking "how far should we go?" or whispering to God "it's not fair." This is a book for the times when professional advice isn't enough, and you've had your fill of well-meaning comments from those who haven't experienced infertility. Empty Womb, Aching Heart will help you know you are not alone with true stories about couples who share your hopes, fears, frustrations, and the comfort only God can bring.
Ended Beginnings (Panuthos & Romeo) Infertility, miscarriage, sudden infant death, abortion, adoption, premature or traumatic birth, and help for grieving children
Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss (Saake) Hannah's Hope is intended as a guide to assist you in making wise decisions as you struggle through your grief of not yet conceiving, losing a child, or struggling through the adoption process.
It's OK to Cry: Finding Hope When Struggling with Infertility and Miscarriage (Cameron & Cameron) A glimpse of of one couple grappling with the painful issue of infertility (Christian perspective)
Miscarriage after Infertility: A Woman’s Guide to Coping (Freda & Semelsberger) Comfort and hope for women who fear that their lost pregnancy may be their last
Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss (Cardin) Many women and men long to find solace in religious ritual and tradition to ease the emptiness felt from a loss that is without a face, a name, or a grave. This book acknowledges and encourages expressions of their grief, and offers comfort in the moments of their pain. Providing companionship and strength for healing from others who also have grieved, Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope is a spiritual companion that enables the reader to mourn within the words and ways of Judaism. Drawing deeply on the wellspring of comfort found in traditional Jewish texts and prayer; it also offers readings and rituals created especially for parents struggling with the uncertainty and sorrow of pregnancy loss and infertility, providing a source of compassion, healing, and hope.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Fertility Doctors, An Oscar, An Atomic Bomb, A Romantic Night, and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother (Orenstein) Orenstein's story begins when she tells her new husband that she's not sure she ever wants to be a mother; it ends six years later after she's done almost everything humanly possible to achieve that goal, from "fertility sex" to escalating infertility treatments to New Age remedies to forays into international adoption.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Pregnancy after Loss
Perinatal Palliative Care
Bittersweet...hello goodbye. A Resource in Planning Farewell Rituals when a Baby Dies (edited by Lamb) Guidance and specific suggestions for creating a meaningful memorial service
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies: A Guide for Families (Wolfelt) Practical ideas for creating authentic, personalized, and meaningful funeral ceremonies
Fly Away Home: For Bereaved Parents who Turned Away from Aggressive Medical Intervention for their Critically Ill Child (Davis) Looks at parents' experiences and emotions around medical ethics, decision-making, living in the shadow of death, and finding peace.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Goodbye My Child (Wheeler & Pike) Guide for newly bereaved parents. Talks about funeral planning, differences in losses, the five phases of mourning, men and women grief, grandparents, your other children, family and friends and picking up the pieces.
Loving and Letting Go (Davis) This books is designed for parents who decide to reject aggressive medical intervention for their critically ill newborns. It includes chapters on facing the decision, the dilemmas of withdrawing artificial support and a gentle final chapter, "Letting Go With Love."
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Making Loving Memories (Eddy & Raydo) For first things to do and simple funeral planning. A small book packed with realistic ideas.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Planning a Precious Goodbye (Ilse & Martinez) Specific suggestions for creating a meaningful memorial service for their baby who has died
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Waiting with Gabriel (Kuebelbeck) Account of continuing a pregnancy following a devastating prenatal diagnosis
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
When a Child Dies: A Resource for Families (Charles & Ciepielinski) They cover everything from funeral & memorial planning to helping surviving siblings; from announcements to thank you cards; from support for parents to tips on how family, friends, caregivers can actually be helpful.
When a Meeting is Also a Farewell (Radestad) A sensitive but realistic book to help parents and those around them cope with the death of a very small child
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE -- CONTACT THE PERINATAL LOSS OFFICE
Religious/Spiritual Perspectives
Born to Fly: An Infant’s Journey to God (Claussen) Brings hope and comfort to those who believe they will someday join their babies in God’s heavenly place
Breaking the Silence: Recovering from Miscarriage, Stillbirth, & Early Neonatal Loss (McDonald) For group Bible study or individual at-home study
Comfort Us, Lord-Our Baby Died (Hagley) A book of prayers for families who have lost a small infant to stillbirth or early infant death
Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy (Vredevelt) As joy and anticipation dissolve into confusion and grief, painful questions refuse to go away: Why me? What did I do wrong? Doesn't God care? With the warmth and compassion of a licensed counselor and a Christian woman who has suffered miscarriage herself, Pam Vredevelt offers sound answers, advice, and reassurance to the woman fighting to maintain faith in this heartbreaking situation.
An Empty Cradle, a Full Heart: Reflections for Mothers and Fathers (Lafser) This collection of more than a hundred short meditations beautifully interweaves the very real feelings of bereaved parents with Scripture passages that provide comfort, direction, and a sense of hope.
Free to Grieve (Rank) Combining her own personal experience with extensive research, Maureen Rank offers guidance to those grieving a miscarriage or stillbirth and help in looking toward the future (Christian perspective)
Gone Too Soon: The Life and Loss of Infants and Unborn Children (Wittwer) Latter-day Saint perspective and support for those grieving the loss of a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death
Good Mourning (Morrow) Christian perspective of pregnancy loss
Grieving the Child I Never Knew (Wunnenberg) A devotional companion offering comfort, the reassurance of God’s presence, and strength for the journey through grief to healing for those who have lost a child through miscarriage, tubal pregnancy, stillbirth, or early infant death.
In Heavenly Arms: Grieving the Loss and Healing the Wounds of Miscarriage (Bridgman) In Heavenly Arms has been used to run self-help groups at various churches and crises pregnancy centers across the United States and in other countries around the world.
I’ll Hold You in Heaven (Hayford) Provides compassionate answers to troubling questions such as, What happened to my baby after it died? Will I ever see my baby again—and will I recognize him? Does God have a reason for letting my child die?
Living with Loss, Healing with Hope (Grollman) Illuminates Judaism's powerful recognition of the trauma of grief and of the mourner's responsibility eventually to return to the rhythm of life. In a brief final section, the author guides readers through Jewish funeral observances, Shiva, and beyond, and reminds all that these symbolic customs are "about change-remembrance, letting go, and moving on."
Losing You Too Soon: Finding Hope After Miscarriage or the Loss of a Baby (Keaggy) Source of encouragement and a reminder that God promises grace and hope in the midst of even the deepest pain
A Rose in Heaven: A Journey of Hope and Healing for Women who Grieve the Loss of Their Baby (Waltman) A Rose in Heaven is a journey of hope and healing for women who grieve the loss of their baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. Written from a Christian perspective this valuable resource contains 52 timely meditations based on the author's journal entries after the loss of her stillborn daughter. Coupled with powerful scripture verses and intercessory prayers A Rose in Heaven provides a grieving mother with encouragement, hope, and healing throughout the first and most difficult year after the loss of her child.
Safe in the Arms of God: Words from Heaven about the Death of a Child (MacArthur) Every parent who has lost a child has dealt with disturbing, haunting questions. Why my child? Where is my baby now? Will I ever see my child again? Renowned Bible expositor John MacArthur tackles the question of infant death (in the womb or following birth) in his trademark style - with detailed attention to Scriptures that hold the answers. No death occurs apart from the purposes of God. MacArthur assures readers, just as no life occurs apart from the purposes of God.
Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss (Cardin) Many women and men long to find solace in religious ritual and tradition to ease the emptiness felt from a loss that is without a face, a name, or a grave. This book acknowledges and encourages expressions of their grief, and offers comfort in the moments of their pain. Providing companionship and strength for healing from others who also have grieved, Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope is a spiritual companion that enables the reader to mourn within the words and ways of Judaism. Drawing deeply on the wellspring of comfort found in traditional Jewish texts and prayer; it also offers readings and rituals created especially for parents struggling with the uncertainty and sorrow of pregnancy loss and infertility, providing a source of compassion, healing, and hope.
Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy: A Pregnancy Loss Bible Study (Fackler) Some of the questions discussed during the 9-week study include: “where do I go from here?” “where is my child now?” “can I ever understand why?” and “how can God help me deal with losing my baby?”
When Joy Withers Away (Meyden) Rev. Calvin D. Vander Meyden is a pastor in Michigan. When Joy Withers Away is his poignant story of the death from SIDS of his three month old grandson, Travis Genzink. Told from a unique point of view, not only as a grandfather, but also as a minister, it is a story over which we can not only shed tears, but also garner hope. When Joy Withers Away gives grieving grandparents suggestions on how they can survive such tragedy, but its real strength is how it gives all of us the freedom to ask, "Why, God? Why?"
When Love and Sorrow Embrace (Forbus) Biblical encouragement to parents grieving a miscarriage
General Grief 
This section includes books about coping with the death of a child at any age, about grief in general (not necessarily perinatal grief), and that offer hope and inspiration.
The Bereaved Parent (Schiff) Offers guidance to parents facing the imminent death of a child, shocked by an accidental death, or suffering post-funerary turmoil, grief, and depression, and shows a way through the day-to-day hardships and decisions
A Broken Heart Still Beats: After Your Child Dies (Hurcombe) Complilations of poetry, fiction, and essays eloquently expresses a parent's pain, stages of grief, and the coping and healing that follow (not specific to perinatal loss)
Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul: Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One (Canfield & Hansen) Readers will be comforted and inspired by the stories of regaining strength and hope, such as holding meaningful services, performing thoughtful deeds and cherishing special memories. Most important, just as the writers have come to appreciate life through the grieving process, readers will discover how to do the same. This soothing bowl of stories is the perfect gift to bring comfort, strength and courage.
Don't Take My Grief Away: What to Do When You Lose a Loved One (Manning) Doug Manning addresses the pain and disorientation of the death of a loved one, helping the bereaved cope with the emotions and confront the decisions that are an inevitable part of this time of radical life adjustment. Beginning with the premise that "grief is not an enemy; it is a friend. It is the natural process of walking through the hurt and growing through the walk," Manning helps readers face up to grief, move through it, and learn to live again.
How to go on Living When Someone You Love Dies (Rando) Discusses different types of losses a person could face and then goes on to explain why you will feel as you do. The last part is dedicated to helping you understand how to resolve grief and heal from such loss
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye (Noel & Blair) Focuses on the unique challenges of sudden loss, written by two women who have walked the path. They cover such difficult topics as the first few weeks, suicide, death of a child, when a body isn't found, children and grief, funerals and rituals, physical effects, homicide, depression, and many others.
Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal (Remen) Enthusiastically praised by everyone from Deepak Chopra to Bernie Siegel, Rachel Remen's unique perspective on healing is rooted in her background as a physician, a teacher of medicine, and a long-term survivor of chronic illness. In this collection of deeply moving, true stories, she reminds readers that the things that ultimately enrich life are the things that cannot be measured.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
The Last Lecture (Pausch) Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give a "last lecture." It's something professors are often asked to do - to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. He didn’t have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave—“Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”—wasn’t about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because “time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think”). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living. (You can also view the last lecture on the internet on various sites.)
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Living with Loss, Healing with Hope (Grollman) Illuminates Judaism's powerful recognition of the trauma of grief and of the mourner's responsibility eventually to return to the rhythm of life. In a brief final section, the author guides readers through Jewish funeral observances, Shiva, and beyond, and reminds all that these symbolic customs are "about change-remembrance, letting go, and moving on."
Remembering with Love (Levang & Ilse)Reassurance and compassion for those struggling with a loved one's loss
Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving (Fumia) Grief expert Molly Fumia offers a helping hand through the process of grief and recovery
Trusting God Through Tears (Burton) Following the sudden death of his twelve-year-old son, Jehu Burton finds himself immersed in the emotions that come with great loss and faced with faith-shaking questions that have never before arisen in his spiritual life. Burton walks readers through the days, months, and years following Kellys death. He reveals how he survived the most terrible event of his life and learned to trust in God's sovereignty.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People (Kushner) A Jewish rabbi facing his own child's fatal illness deftly guides us through the inadequacies of the traditional answers to the problem of evil, then provides a uniquely practical and compassionate answer that has appealed to millions of readers across all religious creeds. Remarkable for its intensely relevant real-life examples and its fluid prose, this book cannot go unread by anyone who has ever been troubled by the question, "Why me?"
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Why are the Casseroles Always Tuna? (Sims) A loving look at the lighter side of grief
The Worst Loss: How Families Heal From the Death of a Child (Rosof) Explains why grieving is necessary, the stages of grief parents and sibling will likely go through, possible barriers to grieving, and learning to let go and create a new life
Other Book Lists
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