Northside Hospital Perinatal Loss Office

Recommended Reading:

Anna, a Daughter’s Life (William Loizeaux) is a journal of memories and remembrances written by the father of a baby girl who died from VATER Syndrome when she was several months old. 

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies (Sherokee Ilse and Tim Nelson) provides insight into the differences and similarities of men and women who grieve.  The book includes the stories of two “imperfect couples” (the Ilse’s and the Nelson’s) who have endured 20+ years since their babies have died.  The book also includes a mini-workbook of conversation starters. Ilse has written over 17 books and booklets on loss and has worked with numerous infant loss organizations.  Nelson is the author of A Father’s Story as well as “A Guide for Father’s When a Baby Dies” and co-founded

A Place

to Remember publishing company. 

 

Embracing a Loss from Sorrow to Acceptance (Elisa Carrillo Baldry) is a journal “companionway” that provides tools for working through grief.  It includes the author’s own poems and personal thoughts, but it also gives the reader journaling prompts.  This may be particularly helpful to those who wish to journal but are not sure how to begin.

 

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart (Deborah L. Davis) is a national best seller that has been providing comfort and reassurance to parents for many years.

 

Forgotten Tears:  A Grandmother's Journey Through Grief (Nina Bennett) is for anyone who has had a loss or knows someone who has had a loss.  It is not only the touching story surrounding the stillbirth of Bennett's granddaughter, but it also validates grandparents as grievers, discusses the process of redefining "normal" after the death of a grandchild, and touches on the complexity of being a grieving grandparent and a "strong" parent to your children who are suffering the loss of their child.  This book is not only helpful for grandparents to read, but it is also extremely enlightening for parents, aunts, uncles, other relatives, friends, healthcare providers, and clergy. 

The Good Grief Club (Monica Novak) is the true story of seven women who make a connection and form friendships through a perinatal loss support group.  It shares their stories as well as how they rebuilt their lives after their losses.

   

Losing Malcolm (Carol Henderson) tells the story of their son who was diagnosed three days after birth with a heart problem.  Malcolm ends up dying after an emergency surgery. Along with her expression of intense grief, most readers will relate to Henderson's accompanying feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Along that path she experienced mindless numbness, frustration, resentment of other women with their children, fear of her own body, and rage at people who dismissed her loss. Even when she became pregnant again, she felt that the new baby was "floating in a womb of tears." And yet she had the wisdom to embrace all these reactions as natural aspects of the grieving process.

   

Silvie's Life (Marianne Rogoff) Imagine a joyous, healthy pregnancy, a well-thought out birth plan, a normal labor, a baby who doesn't cry, who lies limp on her mother, and is raced by helicopter to a hospital with an intensive care nursery. There the nightmare becomes reality, a baby born with severe brain damage, with no identifiable cause. One week after Silvie's birth, her parents are advised to take her home to die. The doctors guessed that she would die in a few days; those days stretched into weeks, accumulated into months. Rogoff's luminous memoir details the conflicting emotions she and her husband felt as they continuously braced themselves for their baby's death. Her descriptions of living in limbo, trying to balance hope with reality, are powerful.

Tear Soup, a recipe for healing after loss (Schwiebert & DeKlyen) is a family story book that centers on an old and somewhat wise woman, Grandy.  Grandy has just suffered a big loss in her life and so she is headed to the kitchen to make a special batch of Tear Soup.  This book recognizes and reinforces the fact that every person grieves in his or her own way.

 

Waiting with Gabriel (Amy Kuebelbeck) tells the journey of the author and her family as they prepare to deliver their baby boy who was diagnosed before birth with a fatal heart malformation. 

 

When a Meeting is Also a Farewell (Ingela Radestad) is about the author’s first child Ellen who died shortly before birth.  As a midwife and now mother of three, she wrote a book to help parents and those around them cope with the death of a very young child in a sensitive yet realist way.  The book includes personal interviews, letters, and poems as well as guidelines and suggestions for healthcare providers.